The Transition to Two

So I've been doing this whole Mom of two gig for three months now and I totally have it down. Haha. That's a lie. I do occasionally have my days that I fist pump the air and tell myself I'm super mom, like the day I took both kids to the park and no one cried, the entire week where both boys took naps at the same time (how in the world did I manage that one?!) or the day we were all bathed, dressed and fed and Aiden didn't watch any tv. But those days are usually followed by a day where I am sneaking spoonfuls of Nutella and telling myself I'll do better at this whole mom thing tomorrow.

The first few weeks, I was basically terrified. I was afraid that I wasn't doing a good enough job, afraid that Aiden was feeling left out, afraid that I would fail one or both of my boys and very afraid to leave the house with two kids. Well guess what? My first outing with two kids was a big fat fail. We all 3 left the park in tears that day, but looking back on it, it was my first step. Like the Little Blue Engine I had to tell myself, "I think I can, I think I can" over and over until I convinced myself to just go for it regardless of how it'd go. When you are faced with a new challenge, don't shrink back from it in fear, face it head on. You have to start by taking a small step and slowly your steps will become leaps.

Being a Mom of two is hard, but it is also sprinkled with hilarious moments and incredibly sweet ones. Watching the brotherly bond begin to form between my boys has been the sweetest thing I've ever had the privilege of watching. I have also loved seeing Aiden as a big brother. He is (most days) incredibly sweet and protective of his little brother and the way he says his name melts my heart. Then he has his days where he tells me to put Alder downstairs, but we won't go there today.

While it's hard to always be needed, I have learned quickly to not feel defeated if every day is not Pinterest perfect, which it is NOT. If we stay in our pajamas all day, that's ok. If my baby cries for a few minutes while I hold my toddler, that's ok. If my toddler watches movies so I can breastfeed and play with my baby for a few uninterrupted hours, that's ok. If I have to bribe my toddler with jelly beans to get in his car seat, that's ok. I am not super mom and I am not ever going to do this whole parenting thing perfectly. It's better to just accept that and choose to accept God's grace when I mess things up.

Three months in and I'm starting to get in a groove. Instead of saying "I think I can," I'm getting out more and saying "I thought I could." I'm not scared to leave the house with two kids by myself anymore, but it has taken time, preparation and practice (and Jesus and Starbucks.) I am more confident now in myself and in my mom game. These days are crazy hard and crazy good.

Someone pinch me, I'm a mom of TWO!