My First Documented Mom Fail

Dear Aiden,
While I wish I could say I am the perfect Mom and will never fail you, I can't. I am an imperfect person chosen by God to to live every day trying my best to make your life a wonderful one. I do my best to keep you safe and to make you feel so very loved, but there are times that I will fail. Last week was one of those times.

I decided to take you on a walk to the library. We live a few miles from the library and the forecast said storms were a few hours off so I strapped you in and off we went.

We made it to the library, I picked up the book I had on hold and we managed to get about half a mile down the road when all of the sudden it started pouring down rain on us. Thankfully your stroller covered you up most of the way, but I will admit that at first I was terrified. This was something that was not in my control. My first thought was where can I take shelter? Then there was a crack of thunder. We were still miles from home and there was no place for us to go so the only thing I could do was start running. I ran and ran and wondered what people must think of me. I felt people judging me from the inside of their warm dry houses thinking what in the heck is that mom doing with her infant out in the rain. But I kept running.

You were perfectly content in your stroller and probably didn't even really have a clue that we could have been in any sort of danger. As I ran, two different people offered me help. One was an older gentleman watching the storm from inside his garage and the other was a man loading up his truck in his driveway. It felt good to know that someone cared, but at that point I felt I just needed to keep running, so I did.

By the time we reached our street the dark clouds had rolled away and the rain let up. Sun began to shine through the clouds and I looked at you and smiled. I was soaked and out of breath, but we made it home safe and sound. The only real damage done was to my library book. Oops.

Life is like that. A storm will roll in when you least expect it, but you can fear it or you can embrace it. When people offer you help it eases the hardship and makes you feel less alone. You have to ignore the judgements of others and focus on you. When you don't get worked up about the storms in life, they can actually turn into adventures.

I want to always be able to keep you safe from the storms, but sometimes they roll in unexpectedly so my promise to you is to always do my best. To always love you unconditionally and to put your needs before mine. I love you so much and hope you can always face a storm and come out smiling. I love you little buddy.

Love, Your Mama