I'm not the mom I thought I'd be

Before becoming a Mom I had all kinds of ideas of what motherhood would be like and what I would be like as a Mom. My Pinterest boards were full of homemade baby recipes, fun projects to do with my newborn's hospital cap and bracelet, pictures I'd be sure to take, books I would definitely read, etc. But I was nervous about how I would handle it all when the time came.

Would I be a ranting crazy sleep-deprived Mama who would only be able to survive on coffee? {Which I didn't even like.} Would I make my own baby food like I planned? Would I be one of those moms that stayed home to keep my baby on a schedule? Would I like breastfeeding and be able to attempt a whole year of it?

Now 10 months in, the one thing I do know is, I'm not the Mom I thought I'd be and I'm okay with that.

I really thought I'd care more about germs, but I don't care so much about germs. Right now everything is going in his mouth and while I try to stop it, it is going to happen so I don't stress about it.

I was scared that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed my baby or that I wouldn't like it. Despite it being incredibly hard, it is also such a beautiful thing and I can officially say I love it.

I thought I'd be embarrassed to ask certain questions especially ones that a mom "should" know the answer to, I'm not. I ask Moms at the grocery store questions with no shame. Haha.

I follow all the food rules and will not be giving my baby ice cream or strawberries or honey or fish or chocolate before he's officially 1.

My baby is crawling and you'd think I'd be more motivated to vacuum. I'm not.

I thought for sure I'd never in a million years be able to breastfeed in public. But I have and in a food court no less.

When we are out and about and my baby's bedtime is approaching it stresses me out and I make every possible attempt to get him home and in bed on time. Yes there are exceptions and yes when we have a babysitter I'm fine, but his routine is important to me.

While I love cute clothes, I don't get out and shop much for Aiden's outfits, which really surprised me. I get most of his clothes from Target, other people or Mom sales.

I thought I'd worry all the time thanks to my Type A personality, but I don't. I'm way more laid back with my baby than I could have ever dreamed.

I thought I'd read more books and follow developmental milestones more closely. I know what Aiden should be doing thanks to some great apps, but I don't compare as much as I thought I might and I definitely haven't read as many books as I planned.

I thought I'd be able to let my baby cry it out so I could actually get some sleep. I don't. I rock my baby to sleep every night and never let him cry it out.

I started drinking coffee and wearing my hair in a messy top knot 88% of my days.

I care a lot more about the food he eats than the food I eat. I make most of his food and know more about the nutritional value of fruits and vegetables now than I ever did before.

I thought having a baby would make me NOT want another one right away, but I think about having more kids a lot sooner than I thought I would.

We all have our ideas of how we think we will be as a Mom and really what other Moms should be like. Don't let those ideas consume you. Focus on the things that are important to you (regardless of what others say) and high five the Moms around you for doing the same thing even if it looks different. 

Mamas out there...

Are you the kind of mom you thought you'd be?