After I read about Amanda Blackburn, I feared someone breaking in to my house, I feared being without Aiden and him being without me.
After the tragic death of one of my friend's husband, I began to fear losing my own husband. When he wouldn't answer my calls, fear would creep in.
With all the terrorist attacks, small fears began to grow in my mind when we were out in public places. What if someone came into the movie theater we were in like I've read about in the news? I found myself seeking out exits and wanting to go to the shooting range with my husband.
I had nights where I couldn't fall asleep because of the knot growing in my stomach due to fear. And then I was reminded that this is not how God wants any of us to live our lives. God does not want us to live in fear.
There is so much we can fear in this life. The list of "what if's" could go on for days. Fear can paralyze you, can cause you to miss out on the future God has for you. But we do not have to live in fear.
"We need to learn to accept the reality of His love for us, so that our fears do not control us."
If we choose to trust God and His perfect love for us, we have nothing to fear because perfect love casts out fear. We are His beloved children and He has good plans for us. Does that mean tragedy can't strike? No. Does that mean that there won't be trials? No. What it does mean is that we have a good father who loves us and will take care of us. We have a father who has prepared a place for us even beyond the edges of this Earth. He is here to grieve with us because He has walked in our shoes. He has felt pain and loss and He cares about us.
So this year I want to have more courage.
I want to be a brave mother and entrust a sense of adventure and zest for life in my son. I want to do what I know in my heart is best for my son and not let doubt or fear creep in and tell me I'm doing this whole mom thing wrong.
I want to be a brave wife and encourage my husband to go out and take hold of his dreams. I want to embrace every second we have together and go out on more dates just the two of us.
I want to be a brave woman. Someone who can walk out of the house without make up on and not worry what others think of me.
I want to have courage with the words I say to my friends and family, especially those who don't have a relationship with Jesus.
I don't want to be afraid to try new things for fear of failure or not measuring up.
I don't want to worry about the things that are beyond my control. Like cars breaking down, appliances breaking, basements flooding or the money it takes to fix those things.
I am the daughter of a King and He will take care of me. I just need to choose to walk with Him and choose to have courage.
Do you have a word for 2016?
What do you hope to do differently this year?