Thursday, March 1, 2018

Dear Baby Boy {A letter written to you on the night before your first birthday}

My sweet boy,
Tonight I put you in the same pajamas your brother wore the night before he turned one, we read all your favorite books and you laughed on cue at all of your favorite parts. I nursed you and then rocked you in my arms. Usually you fall asleep in my arms, but tonight you didn't. I looked down at you curled up on my chest and thought how big you looked in my arms and wondered where my little tiny newborn went. I was just starting to shed a few tears thinking about how quickly you were growing up and then out of nowhere, you started patting my shoulder. It's like you knew I needed that. So I prayed over you, put you in your bed with your puppy and pat your bottom a few times. Then I slipped out of your room.

I have felt very connected with you since the moment I first felt you kick. When you were laid on my chest, you knew just what to do. You found my finger and wrapped your tiny hand around it..then of course you wanted to eat, but first you wanted to simply hold my hand and get as close to me as possible.

You have such a sweet and thoughtful side of you. You are always "pat, pat, patting" things and laughing. And the way you put your head on my shoulder and snuggle with me makes me melt. The other day your brother had a sleepover with your Grandma and we got some time just the two of us. We took a bath together and then went for a walk around the neighborhood and it was so peaceful. You were so content just looking around and I just started thinking about how you have always simply gone with the flow of our lives, whether it's at our house with your brother running around (and not ever napping) or out to eat at a restaurant during your nap time. You simply go with the flow. You enjoy routines and know exactly what you want, but you are also laid back and content. Basically you are the perfect mix.

I love how much you continue to love your Mama and I hope you know how incredibly loved and treasured you are. You are strong and mighty and oh so determined. I pray often that God uses your strength and determination for His glory and that we find the best possible ways to help you learn to use your gifts.

I am definitely your safe place and like one of your books says, you are my wild.

You always seem to get in to the things you shouldn't like cords and outlets and the cat food dish. You love living on the edge (literally) and are always wanting to be held up so you can stand on the window ledge and see outside. You study things and watch us intently like you are soaking everything in. You grab all the remotes and knock down all the things on every single shelf.
You have the most infectious smile, the most fun laugh and we are all just so crazy about you. A year with you has gone by so fast, but I have loved every single second. I know God has big plans for you sweet boy and I can't wait to see them unfold.

I love you more than I can ever say in words. Happy birthday little love.
Love, Your Mama